How to get through anything (AKA Lessons from Dad)
My Dad is my hero. He was the strongest person I have ever met, faced every challenge head-on, and didn't stand for bullshit. He was also a deep thinker, genuinely caring for the people he loved the most - my mum, my sister and me. There was nothing he would not do for his girls. He faced terminal illness with acceptance, patience and incredible determination to get the most out of every day.
Having recently received a diagnosis of auto-immune disease, I have been thinking about Dad more than usual lately. How would he react to the news that my body is attacking itself? What would he do if he were me? How would he handle things?
He'd fight. He'd persist. He'd not take no for an answer. He'd approach every conversation with healthy scepticism ("Doctors are just people, and make mistakes" he used to say "Make sure what they say resonates. If not, get a second opinion").
When he was growing up, Dad always wanted a son. Considering he had two daughters and I was the second born, that role fell to me. As a result, I spent a lot of my childhood helping Dad - we painted fences, repaired hot water services, dug footings, built decks, paved, cleaned, gardened and made a million trips to Bunnings.
Thankfully, I am not afraid of hard work. I am also determined (Dad would have described me as stubborn). Over time, I taught Dad that girls are tough, capable and clever. During my late teens, he would occasionally stop what he was doing and say something like "you always give more than I ask", "you're soft but so strong" or "I had not thought of that, good idea".
It was a match made in heaven! Dad had so much experience in all things engineering and he was excited to share it with me. I have an unquenchable thirst for knowledge and soaked it like a sponge.
Anyone that has done a DIY project knows that it always takes longer than you plan. There will be unforeseen obstacles. It will cost more than you thought. Through countless hours I learned the value of hard work; that if you can do something yourself you should not pay for it (you will do it better than someone else) and that there is always an answer to every problem if you take the time to think about it. In short, the lessons Dad taught me through all we did together distil down to:
Fuel to perform
Deal with shit
Pivot
Take a break
Fuel to perform
Peak performance requires energy. Eat well, drink lots of water and enjoy a beer at the end of a hard day. Sleep is a form of fuel and naps on the worksite are acceptable.
Deal with shit
Ignoring the problem won't make it go away. Procrastination delays the inevitable and creates other problems (nagging comes to mind). Admit there's a problem. Define it. Find a way to address it.
Pivot
When the proverbial hits the fan, there are times when your plans will need to change. Some things are not worth climbing over or working around. Don't lose sight of the end goal but find another way to get there.
Sometimes, you will need to seek the opinion of an expert. Don't be afraid to ask questions of those that have done it before. There's no need to reinvent the wheel - it is highly likely that someone else has solved the problem before.
Take a break
When you are fatigued and making mistakes, when you have hit a problem that doesn't have an easy solution or when there are external forces beyond your control (a lightning storm when you are digging post holes with a 2m crowbar), stop. Doing something else is often more productive and your brain will work on the problem while you are focused on the other thing and, most of the time, the solution will present itself.
Simple, right? But so effective. My Dad was the best!
